MORE BULLSHIT

Over the past 4 months I have started to recall some of the things I blocked out over time. Trauma and being with a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath makes it so you can’t remember important information. The narcissists changes stories around to confuse their victims and purposely forget that. As I remember things I will try and share. Over the past few days I have also met others that knew more about my relationship and abuser that I never knew about. I will try and update on those too.

I am not sure if I told everyone about the Chili’s trip. It was last winter and my abuser, his son, and I all went to Chili’s for dinner. My abuser told me he didn’t have any money and I was sick of paying for everyone that I said I didn’t have any money either. I started paying for dinners a lot of the time after the first year, but it was sporadic when he had money. At that point I had paid enough, so I said no. I ended up buying my own food, my abuser bought his sons, and Dick didn’t eat. Don’t be fooled when my abuser says he has money or flaunts it. It’s a lie.

I will explain how my abusers money situation goes. He is in debt, a LOT of debt! However, every couple of months he will go through a period where he gets quite a bit of money through scamming people, but that money disappears fast. He is HORRIBLE with money, so as soon as he gets a little bit he makes horrible decisions and blows it all on bullshit. The reason he was broke last February and wanted to move in with me is because he was paying $2000 a month to be coach by the guy he just went on a little trip to the Bahamas with. He then bought some program for his business that blew through a ton of money. Last year he told me that he blew a TON of money by buying coaching programs from this guru guy that he needed my help. He also told me that he knows more than this guru guy and that he just wasted his money because he should have trusted himself. Dick is supposedly smarter than him and just made bad choices. Dick also told me that the guy pretends to have more money than he does, but he is actually failing. Oh, and he told me the guy was getting into powerlifting and using steroids. Everything Dick was projecting about this guy was actually what he was doing and I can see it clear as day now.

I also remember one time Dick jokingly punched me in the arm. He didn’t ever punch me out of anger, but this one time we were joking about something and he punched me in the arm and bruised me. I’m sorry, but if you bruise someone it’s no longer a joke! Ha-Ha, so funny! One day I was lying on my couch and my grandma came over to my house. She didn’t know I was on the couch, but she came to talk to my mom. She said, “If she doesn’t leave he’s going to end up beating her.” I had absolutely nothing to say because I knew it was the truth.

A few months ago I was talking to someone and they told me at ever basketball practice for my abusers son there would be a new girl. My abuser was bringing different girls to the basketball practices because he knew I wasn’t going to show up to the practices.

I was talking with my friend yesterday and one of her other friends came over to hang out. She told me that she worked at a restaurant that my abuser took the girl he was cheating on me with. She said, “I remember that. I was actually their waitress.” She also told me that he had been coming into the restaurant a lot to sit at the bar and drink non-alcoholic beers. It was weird to me because he always said he never went there. He also always told me that he couldn’t be in a bar because it brought back bad memories. It’s crazy how many things can be a lie.

My abuser would constantly tell me, “I want to get fuckin drunk” and “I just wish I could go in that bar and get fucking annihilated” and “People who drink are fucking dirt bags that aren’t doing anything with their lives.” He’s a “sober” coach that isn’t sober, is demeaning towards people that have a problem with alcohol, and is very jealous because he can’t be drinking. If you are a recovering addict that’s trying to help people I don’t believe you would be doing these things or sitting in a bar. My friend and my dad have both been sober for over 20 years. They don’t go sit in a bar or make money off scamming addicts and alcoholics. Dick’s entire life if a fucking scam and lie!

I found out even more shocking things than that though! I talked with a woman today who told me that last summer one of her friends saw Dick and his “NEW” supply out at a bar in Como together last summer. YES, last summer when we were full on dating. The best part about it though is that his “NEW” supply had come up to me at the gym last summer and said, “How’s your relationship going?” I told her that it was ok and that was the end of the conversation. Little did I know she was fucking my boyfriend Ha-ha! Hey, they say you can’t turn a Ho into a house wife and that is for sure! I am even more disgusting with the type of people they are now, but maybe she can give him a little taste of his own medicine. Anyways, it makes sense because there would be some nights my abuser would spend the night at my house. He would tell me that he had to go home and do laundry. He would then not respond to me for a while, which was always odd because he’s addicted to his cell phone, but he would tell me it was because he was downstairs doing laundry. He was actually off having sex with another girl. I should have realized that since in the text messages to the first women (that I know of), that he cheated on me with; he would tell her the same things when he didn’t answer her calls or texts, but it was actually because he was with me. Obviously, my abuser didn’t want to answer my texts and calls while he’s doing some other girl.

Another thing I was told was that my abuser wouldn’t show up at some of his sons baseball games, but when he did he would just sit on the phone the entire time. He would run over and take a picture quick to post on Facebook, but then go back to talking and making stupid vlogs of him. I was SHOCKED! I wasn’t shocked about him not paying attention to his son baseball, but that he didn’t show up to the games. He told me he went to ALL the game and practices. The woman I was talking too said, “I swear to God he wasn’t there. He only showed up to the games on the days that he had his son and he didn’t show up to any practices.” I was disgusted and not just for his son’s sake, but because I was actually naive enough to believe this is where he was all last summer. He must have been off having sex with the not so “NEW” girl again.

These are just a few things I have remembered and heard lately. As I remember more I will definitely share. That was a long 2.5 years of my life though. The reason I share this is because you really start to see the truth about things when you aren’t in that situation anymore. Every lie he told me I can see clear as day. I can also remember the things Dick would tell me he was doing at those times when in reality he was doing something totally different. I can also remember all that times he would get really defensive and it makes sense because he was lying. Shitty people will always be shitty people, just remember that! Also, remember that when someone has a drinking or drug problem it’s normally because there is an underlying problem. My abuser was obviously trying to cope with the reality of being a sociopath.

Oh, I just want to add in one more part. The other day ago I said to someone, "I really do love Dick's family though." They said, "Yea, you can love them, but they are still toxic if they know of this behavior and still defend his actions. This is an enabler and it's not ok." It's very, very true. I still love them, but anyone who defends this abusive behavior is also VERY toxic!

I just want everyone to remember that you can’t live your life shitting on people and think you can get away with it. If you live your life like this, you will FAIL; it’s only a matter of time. Just look at Brittany Dawn Fitness, she’s proof! Just sit back, relax, and get some popcorn because it’s going to be a fun show to watch!

PS: I am still the real COMEBACK!